Rambling Review - Strike Witches

Just your average Strike Witches scene.
This is a school, it does... school things.

I feel dirty, filth ridden and violated. I have just finished watching Strike Witches, and by all accounts, I should loathe it with every fibre of my being. Yet, instead of gut wrenching disgust, I walk away from the show with the same sort of guilty satisfaction I would imagine one would feel after spending the night with a cheap prostitute from a particularly seedy section of town.

 For reasons I will never understand, Japanese anime seems to have some bizarre fetish of including German characters.

OVERVIEW

Strike Witches is the story of a squadron of under aged flying half plane magical loli catgirls who wear no pants and were based on historical ace pilots (of which only one was actually female) who fight against alien invaders.

Yes, you read that right.

There are aliens in this show.

Fucking fuckity fuck on a fuck stick! Words cannot even convey the thoughts running through my head.

Perhaps I am making too much of a point on this. But seriously, these kids are like fucking 14! Where the fuck are their pants!? WHO IN JAPAN PITCHED THE IDEA OF FLYING PANTLESS 14 YEAR OLDS!? I'm totally okay with it though... 

A visual reminder to keep a cloth handy for the upcoming scene.

The focus of Strike Witches lies in two areas; awesome flight and battle sequences, and awkwardly tantalising fanservice.

Unlike the rest of Strike Witches, the flight scenes are something I can genuinely enjoy without uttering a silent apology to whatever God may or may not exist. They are fantastically well choreographed and animated. In fact, they are so well done, that I suspect they may be enough to induce spontaneous orgasm amongst some viewers.

For better or for worse, I am amongst the lucky few, for I am utterly captivated by the display of flying lolis, and for those of you who do share my love, I advise you to keep a box of tissues handy. Also, if you are amongst those who do manage to climax at this masterful display of aviation animation, do leave a comment and share with us the touching story of how Strike Witches stained your pants.

Truly, god is dead.

PLOT
Story really isn't the strong point of Strike Witches. Simply put, alien invaders attack Earth for some poorly defined reason, and the only one's who can stop them are flying half plane magical loli catgirls. What follows from there is a cliche storm of many predictable plot elements, but they are executed well enough to at least be vaguely enjoyable, if plot hole ridden. My personal belief however, is that the aliens' evil plan is to steal or destroy all the worlds' pants, which will explain both great mysteries; why the aliens are attacking, and where the fuck everyone's pants went.

Truer words have never been spoken.

SOUND
So I actually watched the dubbed version of Strike Witches (Impending shit storm from weaboo master race incoming) and I really enjoyed it. With the exception of Major Mio Sakamoto who sounds like a transvestite half way through the procedure, and Yoshika Miyafuji who is basically just Yui from K-On! minus the ADD and with less pants, the voice acting was exceptional and fit all the characters really well. Both the OP and ED from both seasons were memorable and enjoyable though far from brilliant.

Once again I must emphasise on how cock hardeningly sweet the flight scenes are.

ART

As I've already stated several times throughout this review, the art in Strike Witches is pretty fucking incredible from the flight scenes of Star Wars level badassery, to the high quality boob jiggling scenes and lovingly crafted pantie shots every 6.8 seconds, it's all solid. Characters are all well designed and unique enough for them not to get boring and their discernible difference in boob size can even be considered a major plot device.

Paddle like the dog you are.

CHARACTERS

One of the stronger aspects of Strike Witches, is that whilst the characters are fairly archetypical, they are actually quite likeable, and manage to carry the show and maintain interest, whereas the plot fails in such respect. My only beef however, is that the cast is huge; there are 11 characters in the Strike Witches brigade and despite the 2 12 Episode seasons, some characters are left feeling painfully undeveloped. 

Yoshika Miyafuji 
The main character. Typical 'average school girl' thrust into a less then average situation. Japanese. Fairly boring personality, but is friendly. Comparable to Yui from K-On! extremely loud and annoying. Is a raccoon or some shit. Has a breast fetish. Probably a lesbian.

Yoshika doing what Yoshika does best.

Mio Sakamoto
The second in command of the Strike Witches. Thinks a katana is an effective weapon in a dogfight. Has an eyepatch. Has the most mind shattering laugh in the history of everything. Probably the only non-lesbian.

Mio laughing. Yoshika later fell into a coma and was pronounced dead a week later.

Minna-Dietlinde Wilcke
The German commander of the Strike Witches. Cares greatly for her minions. Probably a lesbian. 

Minna enjoying the view from behind.

Lynette Bishop
The British sniper (as in she's from Britain and she's a sniper, not as in she snipes British people). Shy and lacking in confidence, she's generally the team buttmonkey. Has an obvious lady boner for Yoshika. Probably a lesbian.

Don't let this screencap fool you. Lynette is really, really lame.

Perrine-H. Clostermann 
Typical anime Frenchwoman. An upperclass twat. Shares buttmonkey duties with Lynette. Only open lesbian in a team of closet cases.

How Mio constantly fails to recognize Perrine's desire to be her sex slave totally escapes me.

Erica Hartmann
One half of the Strike Witches' German ace pilot duo. Despite her awesome talent, she's a lazy little git. For that reason alone, she's the best character in the show. Probably a lesbian.

Gaze into the stoic, cold eyes of a soldier who has lived through the very hells of war.

Gertrud Barkhorn
The other half of the German ace pilot duo. Constantly has a stick up her arse, and is thus not as cool as Erica. Probably a lesbian.

Why do I even bother trying to put funny captions under the pictures? They're flying half plane magical loli catgirls! The imagery should already speak for itself!

Francesca Lucchini
The youngest member in a team of sexualised minors. Hailing from Italy. Is generally the comic relief character; the Italians must be so proud. Has a breast fetish like Yoshika. Probably a lesbian.

The steams were the sole barrier between my mind, and the inescapable oblivion of insanity.

Charlotte E. Yeager
An American racer turned pilot. Like all Americans, has huge breasts (The largest of all the Strike Witches). Also speaks flawless Japanese, like all Americans. Probably a lesbian.

Charlotte engaging in that timeless American pastime of groping one's own breasts.

Sanya V. LitvyakThe little goth girl from Russia. Quiet and asleep most of the day. They had to make a special night episode just to give her lines. Actually quite a good character. Probably a lesbian.

For some reason, I find Sanya really hard to make fun of. Probably because she wears tights at the very least. That and the rocket launcher... yeah, she has a rocket launcher.

Eila Ilmatar Juutilainen

Sanya's lesbian lover or some shit, I dunno. Simply put, she's got like no personality aside from the fact she wants to get into Sanya's(metaphorical) pants and make an adult video with her. I'd watch it....

Groping at 20,000 feet above the ground.

IN CLOSINGI don't know why I like this shit. I really don't. By all accounts, I really should abhor Strike Witches. And yet, despite my best efforts, I ultimately enjoyed this series. All I can say, is give it a shot. I on the other hand, am going to go cry in the corner now.